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  His breath caught in his throat and he inched his hands backward, just the way Lilli had placed them. Then he caught himself.

  This wasn't Lilli.

  He looked down at the actress who had been his whore and stayed his friend. She knew every sensitive part of his anatomy. Her hands, moving to knead his thighs, reminded him how clever she was.

  He'd learn to forget. He'd—

  “Alice. Alice, darlin'.”

  “What?”

  “Enough. That's not why I came here.” He fastened his cock back in his pants.

  Damn Lilli.

  “That wasn't the only reason you came here. But you want some.”

  “I want some. But I like you too much to use you this way. I'd be imagining Lilli the whole time I came. “

  “It's been done before, Harry. Hell, pretending to be someone else is one of my specialties…and not just on the stage. Many a man has your particular problem.”

  Harry shook his head. Tried to smile.

  “You're too much a friend to do such a thing to. And I've got too damn much pride to be satisfied with such a pretense.”

  I hope. God, what if I'm doomed to spend my life pretending other women are Lilli? Will there be a time I beg Alice to play such a part?

  Alice looked thoughtful. She tapped him lightly on his thighs, close enough to his balls to make them quiver in anticipation.

  “Pretense can be a good thing, Harry.”

  “Careful, girl. I've said no, but I'm not above changing my mind if you tease enough.”

  “I'm not teasing. Or not much. You've given me an idea on how to exorcise your pesky woman problem. Boyo, you may change your tune entirely when I tell you how I can help. You don't want to dismiss her. You want to know she doesn't care for you and save your pride. What if we make this woman give you the gate instead and have her be glad to tell you it's over?”

  Chapter Four

  “Mrs. Dayton? Mr. Nelson would like to see you in the library.”

  “Thank you, Franny.” Lilli put down the book. “I'll be there soon.”

  She wasn't going to run down the second Mr. Harry Nelson returned, even though that was her first impulse. Bastard. He'd disappeared for almost a week without a word to her. If he thought she'd forgive and forget, too bad for him. She'd stopped forgiving men for leaving, one man before Harry. Any lingering tenderness she had for this male should be long gone by now.

  Yes, indeed, if he thought he'd sweep her from the study to the bedroom, he was in for a shock. Lilli stood up, smoothed down her skirts, took a deep breath and readied for battle. She paused to inspect herself in the hall mirror before she entered the library. Good. She looked composed.

  “You wanted something—?” She stopped at the library threshold, her calm shattered. Harry wasn't there.

  Someone else was, though.

  “How do you do?” A young woman stood and offered her hand, smiling at her. “You must be Lilli Dayton. Harry has told me a lot about you. I admit you're not quite what I expected.”

  God. She was looking at a reflection of herself. A much younger self.

  Lilli shook her younger self's hand.

  “I can't say the same about you, Miss—”

  The woman had made herself up to look like her. There was some resemblance, but now that Lilli looked more closely, the differences were apparent, too. The other woman had broader cheekbones, thinner lips. Lilli noted her coloring. If that woman was a real blonde, Lilli was an Eskimo. Why was this person doing this? Why was Harry?

  “Alice. Alice Bryant. No, Harry doesn't usually mention me. Naughty man! We've been friends for so long, too.”

  Bitch. Lilli dropped her hand.

  “I see you two have introduced yourselves.” Harry's presence filled the room the moment he stepped into the doorway. For a moment Lilli fought to blink away tears. She'd missed him. If they had been alone, would she have given in and run to hold him?

  Yes. Damn it, she would.

  She glanced at Alice, who was standing much too close to him. Harry hadn't missed her, that much was obvious. Why did she get all the cheating bastards?

  “If you'll excuse me now, I have your daughter to deal with.” Lilli kept her voice supremely reasonable. “She's doing very well, thank you for asking.”

  She was far from a delight, but Anabelle was actually becoming easier to handle. Her little friends were an annoyance, but at least she was with only her female friends now. One of the jobs she'd been hired for was now a relatively easy task.

  “Lilli—” He never called her by her first name. “I have a favor to request.” He called it a favor and a request, but his voice was that of employer to servant.

  * * * * *

  Alice stripped down, showing high, youthful breasts and much too firm skin. Lilli sat at the head of the bed, feeling very foolish and vulnerable.

  She'd made a bargain. What he wanted, she wouldn't be afraid to do. But there was hurt in watching a younger body, one that was like but not like hers, slowly baring itself. Her body was naked, too, and where she'd once been sure and proud in her nudity and its effect on Harry, now she couldn't help but think of sags and lines, imperfections and age. Lilli was competing where she knew she couldn't win.

  Harry was there but not close. She could feel his presence as he sat in the chair away from the bed, watching the two female bodies presenting themselves to him.

  “Kiss her.” Harry snapped out the order.

  Lilli froze. This was too much. Alice leaned forward, her hand resting on Lilli's hip. She kissed Lilli's jaw first. Her lips were gentle and coaxing, almost like a mother to her child.

  “It's all right, Lilli,” Alice whispered, tenderly. “We were wrong, Harry and me. I can see you care. Relax, darlin'. Let me make this easier for you.”

  Oh, God. Darlin'. She'd said that almost the way Harry did. Had she picked up the habit from Harry or Harry from her? It didn't matter. Alice knew Harry. Knew him intimately. Not just for sex, but for intimacy. Lilli had thought she was unique to Harry. Now she knew she was one of a group, literally and figuratively. One of Harry's whores.

  He'd paid for her.

  Was that all she'd been all her life? Someone to be bought and then discarded? She'd covered over everything with a marriage license to Mason and pretty ideas of their life together, but Mason had rid himself of her when he tired of her. She'd been destined to be one in a line of Mason's trophy wives. She should have known she'd fail from the start by the time she met Harry.

  “Don't cry, love,” Alice whispered to her, crooning the words. She licked the tears from Lilli's cheek, upward to her eyelashes. “Don't.”

  Lilli turned, trying to understand the soft words.

  Alice smiled and put her lips to Lilli's ear, tickling her earlobe as Alice continued to whisper. “He's a fool, trying to make you disgusted with him. He says he wants you to push him away. He's lying, girl. Let's make him suffer for his stupidity.”

  Lilli felt a sudden, unexpected, unwelcome warmth as Alice put her hand behind Lilli's head, her fingers tangling into Lilli's hair. Alice stroked her head. Lilli's hair began to fall loose from the pins holding it up. That didn't matter. The surprising tenderness in Alice did. Too much.

  “Kiss me.” Alice whispered in her ear.

  Lilli turned, hesitantly, let her lips brush again Alice's. Alice's mouth opened and she let her tongue rest against Lilli's lower lip, waiting. Oh, why not? Lilli opened her mouth and let Alice inside.

  It was a lover's kiss. Tender. Slow. Enjoying what Lilli offered and not pressing for more. Lilli realized Alice was cupping her breasts. Not fondling. Just touching. As if they weren't a bit too full, a bit too drooping. As if Alice liked her breasts.

  “Go ahead,” Lilli whispered. “Touch my nipples.”

  She thought she heard Harry make a sound, low in his throat, as Alice obeyed her. Alice's fingers were smooth and gentle, the touch of her hand as sweet as her tongue had been. Lilli felt a dim surprise as her ni
pples hardened, a surprise that blazed down her body toward her pussy. She was getting wet. Her legs shook with sudden tension. Her excitement wasn't all from knowing Harry was watching.

  “You do like me after all, even if you don't want to. I'm so glad, Lilli.” Alice's voice was tender, charmed, happy.

  Her voice held a lover's pleasure in pleasing a lover. Was she? Or was Alice acting? Lilli decided the reason didn't matter. Alice was intent on making her happy and Lilli was grateful.

  As a reward, Lilli leaned forward to trace the veins in Alice's breasts. Alice was so pretty. Lilli had never really thought of how lovely another woman's breasts could be.

  Alice moved closer, her pubic curls close enough to tickle Lilli's mons. Lilli squirmed and Alice giggled against her neck.

  Harry moaned, louder now, unable to conceal his desire. That sound triggered another trickle of wetness inside Lilli's vagina. She shifted upward a little, to rub herself against Lilli. Pussy against pussy. The sensation felt odd. Good, but different. Good different. Exciting different. She was going to make love to a stranger, a female stranger, in ways she could never have done before in front of any man.

  She wanted to.

  “So hot. So wet. Lilli, let me taste.” Alice told her, low and clear. “I want to try you.”

  “Let me try you.” A flicker of the Lilli who thought she could be in charge remained.

  Alice pulled at her. “Let's try each other.”

  Head to pussy, pussy to head. Lilli held back the doubts, the screams at why she was here. She would enjoy what was offered, no matter why or who was doing the offering.

  She traced the opening before her. She was an explorer in a new land, finding a new passage to treasure. Alice tasted like something from the sea. Alice tasted just the way Lilli knew a woman would taste, though she'd never thought about the matter before.

  Lilli found a firm nub that swelled when she put her lips against it. She sucked at Alice's clitoris. Then Alice did the same for her, in an exact, mirrored motion.

  “Ohhh.” Lilli couldn't help the joy in her exclamation.

  In response, Alice put her hand under Lilli's ass to push her closer up against her mouth. From tender to relentless took a half-second. Lilli forgot to reciprocate, forgot everything except the warm tugs of Alice's mouth and tongue and the responsive heat flashing through Lilli at each suck and nibble.

  This wasn't anything Lilli planned or even knew how to plan. She didn't know why Alice had made this initiation so easy. Lilli didn't want to think why what she was sure was meant to be a humiliation had turned into something different. Maybe later she would feel a stinging shame, but right now her body hummed with lust. It didn't matter that she was meant to be age next to youth, to be a show for the man who demanded one. She was supposed to be shamed and disgusted. Instead she was enjoying every nuance.

  Lilli bit back another moan as Alice pushed her on. She wasn't sure what she was having was an orgasm—it was a slow, steady building of delightful shock moving to another, new level of pleasure. She wasn't sure where it would end, if it could end.

  “Can I stop for just a moment?” Alice raised her head to ask. “I want to kiss you on your other mouth first.”

  Why couldn't the men in her life be this caring?

  Limp and responsive, Lilli nodded. She'd agree to anything right now.

  Then, as if he'd called her aloud, she looked over at Harry. Strange, she'd almost forgotten him. Then again, if she had remembered him, how could she have enjoyed this? He wanted to belittle her, to make her nothing but a convenient pussy.

  Her lips twisted in a bitter half-smile. He was hard. Hard and ready to come. By the time she was done he wouldn't be able to raise his cock again for a week. She could use sex, too. She could take something wonderful and twist it into…

  Pain.

  Harry knew what he was doing but he didn't like it. His face reflected his thoughts as clearly as if he told her in words. He knew and he was in agony.

  He wasn't just randy. He was miserable. She sensed his unhappiness as clearly as his pulsing excitement. He was helpless to stop either emotion.

  What were they doing to each other? She couldn't let him go on this way. She loved him too much.

  Love?

  Hell. This was a fine time to realize she loved him. Why would she love such a contrary idiot? She'd come close to climax under a woman's hand and mouth, by his own orders. She couldn't love him. She couldn't love him.

  She saw his mouth, pinched tight to shut down the pain—and the lust boiling inside him. He tried so hard to hide he was needy, but he couldn't hide from her. He couldn't. He needed her too much. He needed her and she wanted to help him. To love him. She didn't even care if she got hurt in the process.

  Oh for heaven's sake, she must love him.

  What was she going to do about it?

  This wasn't going according to plan. His cock was screaming to come. His thumb pressed hard under his cock head, while he fought himself. He shuddered as hard as if he were ejaculating. Harry wasn't sure he'd ever been this aroused in his life while at the same time so reluctant to finish himself off.

  He could whistle and the two women would crawl to him, would service him. He'd stripped while he watched them, planning to order them to do just that.

  They'd do whatever he told them to do. They'd probably even enjoy it. All of them knew they were at the edge of huge pleasure, ready to leap into any action to accomplish that conclusion.

  He wanted that. He could almost feel the wetness, the fingers and breasts, the soft skin and sighs against him.

  “Harry?” Lilli looked into his eyes. “We're enjoying ourselves. Why not come join the fun?”

  Harry stared back. He didn't want that. He hadn't planned for joy. He couldn't remember anymore why he'd demanded this, but he knew Lilli and Alice's actions had transcended his petty plans.

  They'd tumbled him into another trap instead. One he didn't even know the name of, one that made him groan with need as well as despair. Women. There was no escape from them. He didn't want an escape. He wanted Lilli. Forever.

  He focused on Lilli. Her face was flushed and beaded with sweat. Her hair was a wild mop of half-destroyed former perfection. In the light of day he knew everything she wanted to hide—she wasn't perfect, she wasn't twenty still, she'd long since stopped being fresh and naïve and half-ripe.

  Why didn't she know she was even better than her ideals of youthful perfection?

  When he saw Lilli crouched in front of him, her thighs spread wide and ready, he bit back a moan. She was sex and love personified. She was carnal and innocent delight all in one. She was what only a whole woman could be—and he wanted her so badly right now the need gnawed at him like pain. He wanted to be whole with her.

  Alice, too. He clutched at that thought almost in fear. What man in his right mind—or wrong one—wouldn't want someone so skilled? What man wouldn't crave to have them both if he could? There were two women in front of him, both of whom were capable of arousing him.

  But he wanted Lilli more. More than anything or anyone. Once he admitted that to himself, Harry wanted to cry in a way he hadn't in decades. He just wasn't sure if it would be for despair or joy. He loved her.

  Wasn't that a fine thing to decide right now?

  He didn't want to want anyone this way. Hadn't known he could. He was used to being without. This special desire for Lilli could destroy him. It didn't matter.

  His love was a gift he would give back if he was able—but he couldn't. Even worse, now that he had it, he couldn't bear the thought of being without any longer.

  His mouth was dry. Harry couldn't speak. He could only stare at the woman in front of him. The one Alice had kissed as tenderly as a male lover. The one he should have kissed with as much ardor and care. He had to stop things. His gift was going to be cheapened and destroyed. If things went as planned, he was going to be left alone and wanting again. He wanted to scream—

  “Enough!”
Lilli's voice was as hoarse as his would be if he could speak. “Stop doing this to yourself. We're fine, Harry. Come with us and be fine, too. We both care about you. This isn't something ugly any more. We don't have to let it be ugly.”

  He looked into Lilli's eyes. They weren't cool now. They carried as deep a pain as his, as hot a need. His exotic Lilli was human. As human and hurting and wanting as he was.

  He shook his head.

  “It's all right. I give up, Harry. I don't need to be in control anymore.”

  He could tell Lilli wanted to cry, too. How could she so exactly reflect his own emotions?

  “I want you to be happy. Please don't push me away. Don't keep yourself pushed away. Don't watch and stay outside. Come inside. If you want things to be with Alice and me and you, I'll accept that. I don't care how, but let yourself be part of something loving. You can. Harry, I love you.”

  He'd failed. He thought he would master her and he'd failed. He'd wanted to make her just another woman. She wasn't. Not to him. She never would be. But he was about to win something better.

  Harry got his voice back.

  “No, I won't join the two of you.” No matter how much part of him wanted to. This was too important. Lilli was too important.

  Lilli's face suddenly crumpled.

  “Oh, God. I'm not superhuman. I may be strong enough to tell you the truth, but it still hurts to have you reject me.” She curled her head into her bent knees and began to cry.

  God, didn't she understand? Did she really think he could reject her? Damn it, he'd done things wrong again.

  “Alice, please. Go. This is something Lilli and I need to finish by ourselves.”

  “I don't think so, boyo. Not unless Miss Lilli here wants me to do.”